My blog

September 11th changed America and chances are it changed you. Images of that tragic day pop into your mind without warning and you have a constant feeling of anxiety. Awful questions come to mind as well. Will the terrorists strike again? Where will they strike? How many innocent people will be killed? You may attribute your worries to news reports reports when they're really anticipatory grief -- a feeling of loss before a death or dreaded event occurs. The stress of anticipatory grief can become unbearable....

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Reflect upon the following questions, and answer those you feel might be most important for thosewho are most concerned about this topic. QUESTIONNAIRE ON HOW TO COPE WITH SUFFERING 1- If there is a loving God, why do so many Christians and good people have to suffer so much whereas others don't? What about natural disasters? 2- In suffering, why are some people so sensitive, and others not, over the same event? Give examples. 3- Much suffering is caused by physical pain, so how can one deal with this?...

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Today's Quote: "My house is burned down, but I can see the sky." Sally Reed, cancer survivor Thirty five years ago this weekend, my father died. Killed when the Mack Truck Lear jet he was traveling on crashed into Lake Michigan, he died in the blink of an eye. There was no warning. His doctor had announced his perfect health a few days earlier. Yet he walked out our front door the Thursday morning of November 6 and never came back. I was twelve years old. In the blink of an eye, pedestrians and bicyclists cross busy boulevards only to be hit by oncoming traffic....

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When the death of a loved one occurs, regardless or whether it was expected or not, you will find yourself having to deal with a great number of people. Some you will know closely, others may be complete strangers; all will be claiming some kind of relationship to the deceased. Whilst grieving for your loved one you may find yourself not wanting contact with anybody other than those to whom you are closest. Having to deal with so many people can be very difficult so it's important to understand how to handle them....

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During the two years of my husband's terminal illness, death was never far from my mind. We had been told he was dying and even a time in which it was supposed to happen. We had no idea of how it would happen. I was loathe to let him out of my sight incase he should suddenly die and not return to me and woke each day fearing that he may have died during the night. Towards the end of his illness I sensed that death was near, waiting in the shadows to steal my love from me and wrote the following poem....

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I am 23 years old. I come from a large family. I have 2 brothers (6 and 7), and 3 sisters (2months, 17, and 21). We are a very close famly, but I am especially close with my 17 year old sister. Like twins, with a very special bond. For the most part we all led very normal lives. I moved away got married and had two children, but we still saw each other every day. One morning I was awaken by my cell phone ringing very early in the morning. My parents were calling me to ask me to come to their house....

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There is so much emphasis on emotional intelligence these days that it appears that people are suppressing their emotions and problems in an effort to "fit in," to keep their jobs, and using "positive self-talk" to muscle through the rough spots in their lives. Recently, I had a friend over who has suffered enormous job stress during a time when his wife's father was dying of cancer. Of course, quitting his job didn't seem like an option during this difficult period, particularly since his wife returned to her parental home for many months to say good-bye to her dying father....

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I believe that major change and loss in our lives is a door to grow ourselves, to become more loving, compassionate and accepting towards others and ourselves. We have choices that determine what the journey will look like. Change isn't easy and it can be quite painful. About twenty years ago, I endured the loss of a parent, a sister and a terrifying sexual assault within a two-year span. More recently, I experienced a car accident, loss of another parent, and the death of my marriage within a year's time....

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What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea. We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts. In that place we call Grief & Loss, is where pain dominates our life and where suffering is the paramount teacher....

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