Are We All Losers? Understanding Grief
The well-known pioneer researcher Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five states through which the dying patient goes. It is also true that the recently bereaved and the about to be bereaved evidence the same stages. Kubler Ross has labeled the 5 stages denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. People do not necessarily go through these stages in any set order or over a set length of time, nor does the individual necessarily pass through each of the stages. Most controversial is the final stage of acceptance....
The Valley of Sorrow or My Life as a Well Digger
It felt like I had been run over by a freight train. I was stunned. I was in shock. I was crying hysterically. But it was really just a phone call. My dad called and said he had to talk to my husband Jerry. I knew it was bad because Jerry hates to talk on the phone so no one ever asks for Jerry unless something bad is going on. I knew some elderly family members and friends were sick, so I thought one had died. I was right someone had died. But it was not an elderly person or even a sick person. It was my sister April....
Beyond A Mothers Nightmare To Radical Forgiveness
It was a moment I will never forget.
At 7:00 am on that Saturday morning, I went into Brian's room just to check on him - you know the way mothers check just to see if their children are breathing when they're sleeping - even if he was 26 years old. I couldn't see his chest moving, so I touched his arm. He felt cold, but I thought sometimes our skin feels cold when we are outside of the covers.
Then I felt his face and it was cool too. I shook his shoulder just a little, afraid to shake harder for fear of disturbing him because he had been in so much pain with his back....
How to Cope with Anticipatory Grief
Anticipatory grief is the name given to the mix of emotions experienced when we are living in expectation of loss and grieving because of it. Anticipatory Grief is particularly relevant to those who have received a terminal diagnosis and for those who love and care for them.
Terminal diagnosis changes the very structure of our existence, takes away our control and our ability to hope and plan for the future. When someone we love is given a terminal illness, we become painfully aware of the fragility of life and may even fear for our own mortality....
Learning to Live Again
Overcoming death and beginning once again to live is the one thing that we never anticipate can happen after we have experienced death. The truth is however, that whether we like it or not life continues on. The decision that we need to make is whether we wish to move on with life.
It can often help to remember that although our loved ones have left us in this life they are still there watching over us and guiding us through the rest of our lives. They will never stop loving us and will never fully leave us....
Suicide in the Church Part 1
Recently, several suicides have occurred right here in my own hometown of about 16,000 people. The latest of these involved a friend of mine who was, among other things, the leader of a Christian Business Fellowship which I attend. He was a lawyer with a terrific wife, two young kids, very prominent in his church, coached little league baseball. As one can imagine, speculations abound - everything from possible chemical imbalances to unfair, unfounded comments which...well, small town gossip can be so mean-spirited....
The Grief And Belief Connection
"Grief is healing: To take away our grief is to take away our healing. And learning about life after death helps us heal with greater hope, comfort and peace." ~ Bob Olson
In approximately five years of investigating the possibility of life after death, I have discovered convincing evidence that there really is an afterlife, that we really do continue to exist after death, and that our loved ones continue to watch over us and guide us in the spirit world. But this is just the beginning of my discoveries....
How to Deal With A Death in the Family and Still Run Your Small Business
As a small business owner we have to deal with tax law changes, local ordinances, environmental laws, Worker's Compensation, etc. Just when we thought we had everything under control, something terrible happenes. A death in the family. Oh my God you say? What do I do now? Well since I have been there, let me tell you what you need to know.
When someone close died in my life, I plunged immediately into an unfamiliar state of emotion, frustration, anxiety and grief. Needless to say, I wasn't any good to my business....
And You Always Will
I opened the dishtowel drawer for about the sixth time, hoping the towels had somehow magically appeared.
The brand new towels still weren't there, of course.
"What did Mom DO with them?" I wondered aloud.
I knew they had to be around somewhere because I had given them to her for Christmas only a few months ago. Not that the towels were so terribly important. It's just that when you're expecting guests, you'd kind of like everything to look nice.
Okay, so maybe I wasn't going to find them....
Whens Sarah Coming Home? Helping Your Child Understand Death
For most children, their first experience with grief comes with the death of a beloved family pet. When Zoe the eight-week old puppy dies of parvovirus or Tweety the budgie stops singing his morning song, a child experiences profound and lasting loss for the first time in their young lives.
Children want and need to know about death, yet we are often reluctant - even squeamish - when talking about it. Conversations with kids about death can be extremely difficult, but they are so important. Helping children understand the death of their pet may arm them with the skills they need to cope and grieve effectively when someone they love dies....
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